Violence

Violence jokes

Landmine

I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

Bank robbery

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.

Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."

The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"

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  • Family

    It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.

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  • Salad

    How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?

    Stab it twenty-three times.

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  • Gun store

    I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.

    Baby

    What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make a loud noise when thrown.

    American

    Why are so many Americans stupid? Because they shoot the ones that go to school.

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  • Jimmy

    If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?

    10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.

    Wife

    A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.

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  • Freedom Of Speech

    The USA guaranteeing freedom of speech is the biggest joke I've heard... Tell that to the people who were almost killed because their cars had "NASCAR Sucks" and "Country and Western is rubbish" on them!

    Revolver

    A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, "WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!" A man in the back responds, "YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!"