Violence jokes
Clear all your debts with one easy payment. Buy a shotgun and blow your head off.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.
How do you affirm a trans woman's gender?
By kicking him hard in the balls.
Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.
Little Johnny paints them black.
Little Johnny went to a gun store.
Little Johnny made a big mess.
The cemetery people were getting paid.
I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
What's the difference between football and rape? Women don't like football.
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"
How do you get ten babies in a bucket?
With a blender.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's Sketchers light up.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
No, I don't want to fight, so I shall kill you (so we won't fight)!
How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?