Violence jokes

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!

Sonic says if you're bored, go punch an orphan. I mean, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.

Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"

The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"

The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"

The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"

Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.

What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with the terrorist.

Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.

So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."

Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.

Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?

A. His mom threw an oven at him.

Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?

A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?

Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.

Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!

Man 3: Me first!

What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.

Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

A: You give them a Sandy Hook.

My therapist said I have trouble letting go of the past. So I killed him.

When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?

When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...

I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.

When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.

Stop the cap.

Why did the terrorist not get paid, but they loved their job?

They di2s drying plans.

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.