Violence jokes
It's not rape if she doesn't say no.
Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.
How do you piss off a feminist? You rape her.
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
Q: How do you get 10 babies in a trashcan?
A: With a blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Chips.
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
What's big and yellow...?
A bus full of kids.
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.