I like my Oreos how I like my victims... Drowning.
Walked in to a gun store, everything was half off.
I didn't know back-to-school shopping started.
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, "WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!" A man in the back responds, "YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!"
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?
alien vs predator
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
*Loud explosion inside the tank*
"Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.
Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?
A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a Jew?
One comes out of the chamber.
What mental illness do terrorists suffer from?
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED).
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
Did you hear about the school shooting joke? Well, I won't tell you it's aimed at a younger audience.
