Violence jokes
Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?
Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.
what do you call a rape victim in Ukraine?
Debris.
If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.
What do you do when you're bored?
I beat up orphans.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
What's red and white and goes 250 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender ;)
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?
"Face the wall!"
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.
So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.
The next day I saw a dead orphan.
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.
What did the guy tired of hearing people joke about rape do?
He killed everyone on this f#cking website.