Back
Violence

Violence jokes

The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books. Instead, they got dozens of magazines.

Why are school shootings branded “very American”?

1. They usually happen in the USA.

2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.

I never understood school shooting jokes.

I guess they were aimed at younger audiences.

A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.

When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"

God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."

  • 1

    • I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.

    The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

    After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"

    The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.

    "How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.

    The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"

    I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.

    He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.

    I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got excited and asked if I could drive a plane.

  • 3

    • Rape victim: I want to die.

    Man: Hang in there.

    Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.