Violence jokes
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.
He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
I was in the bedroom slapping your girl harder than Will at the Oscars.
LMAO, what is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other's just a watermelon.
God bless the shooting that happened.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got excited and asked if I could drive a plane.
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
Bored? Beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
Sonic says: If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.
Little Johnny paints them black.
Little Johnny went to a gun store.
Little Johnny made a big mess.
The cemetery people were getting paid.
The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.