Violence jokes

What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!

Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.

How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true.

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?

Nothing, they blew him up.

What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?

Answer: Putin, put out!

Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.

Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA

Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"

How did the lesbian die? Homicide.

How did the gay man die? Homicide.

I punched my mom for no freaking reason.

I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.

Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?

What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:

Here comes the airplane.

Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.

Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.