Violence jokes

When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.

Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.

Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."

Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J!" Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter "go buy yourself something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice!" They both look at Craig as he pulls out a letter. Craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THEIR BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throws down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"

"Suicide bomber kills 44 people in Pakistan mosque." Damn, that's a crazy K/D. He must be hacking.

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it!

A special quote: “I was gonna slap that girl into tomorrow!”

How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!

Bully: Ur momma so fat that the whales said we are family even though you are a little bigger than us.

Nerd: Yo momma so ugly that when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out.

Silence...................punch!

How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.

Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*

Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!

Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.

What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make a loud noise when thrown.

What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?

...Rape.

Why was the American kid late to school?

Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.

I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."

Violence against women is funny :)

There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.

The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.