Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
Where do suicide bombers go?... Everywhere.
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf? When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice....
What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A rape victim!!!
Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
