Violence jokes
I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
Violence is never the answer:
It's the solution.
Chuck Norris once killed 50 people with a grenade. Then he threw the grenade.
Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?
Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
Bring out your weapons, people.
It's bullying time.
You call it a school shooting.
I call it an unfair shootout.
What a school shooter's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!