A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Q. What do You call a gun that rapes someone? A. An assault rifle
A man asks a woman, "Are you a school?"
The woman replies, "No, why?"
The man says, "Oh, I wanted to shoot my kid inside of you."
Mary's mother was a good person why did she die? -because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
what's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop up an onion.
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
What mental illness do terrorists suffer from?
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED).
