Violence jokes
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?
Special Forces incoming!
Walked in to a gun store, everything was half off.
I didn't know back-to-school shopping started.
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
"Dinosaur killing with a 2x4, no more purple dinosaur!"
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.
I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!
I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.
Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?
A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like it can tell its parents.
Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
Sonic says if you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.