Violence jokes
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
Americans: Miles per hour.
Europeans: Bullets per kid...
What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
I killed a man in '94.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
Chuck Norris strangled someone with a cordless phone.
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?
Special Forces incoming!
Walked in to a gun store, everything was half off.
I didn't know back-to-school shopping started.