Violence jokes

What did the rapist say to his victim?

"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."

There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.

One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."

The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."

The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"

What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?

Catching it with a pitchfork.

Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.

I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 20 people, then it exploded.

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with the terrorist.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

Wipe his ass.