Violence jokes
I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
Alahu-Akbar.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
What's the best thing about beating up orphans?
They can't tell their parents.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.
I'm in the alagba association. Call 666-666-666 to join the gang. It's free and free kills duidui.
Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"
She said no, so I raped her.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because someone booted her in the face. 🤣🤣
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?