What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
Murder: Wanna play a game?
Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
A guy walks into a mosque... then blows up.
Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?
It reminded him of Richard Clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife.
When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Kid starts short-coming people in school. Teacher asks, "Why are you doing that?"
He responds, "I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas!"
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
