Violence jokes
When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.
Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.
Me: "/"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
More than five because my basement is still dark.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.
Rape jokes aren’t funny. People like me that are actually victims of rape are triggered by them.
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.
Cut.
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck 'em.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."