When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays Pumped Up Kicks.
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
Where in hell is Lee Harvey Oswald now when we need him?
"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.
I'm in the alagba association. Call 666-666-666 to join the gang. It's free and free kills duidui.
Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"
She said no, so I raped her.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because someone booted her in the face. 🤣🤣
