Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Violence Jokes
Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.
There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.
What do 9/10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.
Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
