Violence jokes
When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,
but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.
*Is honestly the best policy.*
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!
How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at three hoes.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.