How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church. You follow him in and under their breath it sounds like somebody says you steal and you say in your mind knowing you have before I’m sorry then somebody caughs and under their breath it sounds like they say again you steal so you whisper quietly I’m sorry... ...then somebody in German says shoot that son of a bitch
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
Warning, this is dark.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch? Give 'em a Sandy Hook.
A girl asked me to eat her out one time... so I put her in the oven.
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy.
Today was a bitter-sweet day... Bad news is my friend was assaulted, good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
you know what I hate about rape? Keeping it a secret.
It's not rape if you're both crying.
Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.
What’s worse than nailing 10 babies to 1 tree?
Nailing 1 baby to 10 trees.
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
You reload and keep shooting.
I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.
What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.
What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.
Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?
