Violence jokes
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"
What's big and yellow...?
A bus full of kids.
Why did the influencer terrorist get arrested?
Because his TikTok blew up...
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
What's black and white and red all over? An American School.
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...
Are they just given a quick crash course?
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.