Violence jokes
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...
Are they just given a quick crash course?
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.
What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?
Dying alone.
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.
Al-gebra.
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.
You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.
It's not a war crime if no one's alive to report it.
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.
My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!
Me: I got 60 kills!
My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!
Me: What's Call of Duty?
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
Raping white women should be encouraged everywhere!
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.