Vegetable jokes
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!
Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."
Walnut says, "I look like a brain."
Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."
Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
What starts with a "v" and ends with a "k"? A veggie Karen.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.
What do mermaids put in the salads?
Sea cucumber.
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”
What do you call a pool full of disabled people?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
What is a fish's favorite fruit/vegetable?
An avacodo.
What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?