Vegetable jokes
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
What is a cannibal's favorite vegetable?
- Ladies' Finger
Spinach
When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!
Try with a cucumber.
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?
Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
What the can say to the tomato?
Tomato tomato potato potato find twelve recipe for the both 👍🏾
I put on ingredient sticker read for tasting good.
What is a fish's favorite fruit/vegetable?
An avacodo.
Q. What do you call a hooker in a vegetative state? A. A thot incapable of thought.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.