Vegetable jokes
When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!
Try with a cucumber.
Spinach
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?
Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.
Memes
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!
What is a fish's favorite fruit/vegetable?
An avacodo.
What the can say to the tomato?
Tomato tomato potato potato find twelve recipe for the both 👍🏾
I put on ingredient sticker read for tasting good.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
What is a carrot's favorite shop?
The wheelchair store.
A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.
The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.