Vegetable jokes
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
What's Barack Obama's favorite vegetable? It's Barack-olli.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop an onion.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."
Walnut says, "I look like a brain."
Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."
Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"
What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber 🥒
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
Stephen, are you a vegetarian?
I am a vegetable.
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.
My mum's a carrot.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
What starts with a "v" and ends with a "k"? A veggie Karen.
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!