Vegetable jokes
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?
Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.
What is a cannibal's favorite vegetable?
- Ladies' Finger
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!
Try with a cucumber.
Spinach
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
What the can say to the tomato?
Tomato tomato potato potato find twelve recipe for the both 👍🏾
I put on ingredient sticker read for tasting good.
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!
What is a fish's favorite fruit/vegetable?
An avacodo.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
What is a carrot's favorite shop?
The wheelchair store.
A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.
The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.