Vegetable jokes
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
Why did the rapper visit the farm?
To drop some FRESH BEETS!
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
What's Barack Obama's favorite vegetable? It's Barack-olli.
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber 🥒
Stephen, are you a vegetarian?
I am a vegetable.
My mum's a carrot.
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?
Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.
Pickled carrots.
What starts with a "v" and ends with a "k"? A veggie Karen.
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.