What is the difference between shroud and a shroud imposter
Shroud uses reddit, and the imposter uses WJE
reddit king and q, i really dgaf what you say, you guys are practically obsessed with me cuz ur leaving hate comments on almost all my jokes, so stop, your obviously gonna look bad if you just insult meh jokes
If you guys dont like my jokes, you can just dislike and not leave a comment, ok?
please stop using this thread it is cancer
It was raining sadly all day my wife my 2 daughters and me stuck in the house when wifeβs mom and dad just died
Wife:πππI wish this never happened
Mia our first daughter: momy itβs ok I love whenever I see youπ₯°π₯°
Abby our second daughter: I love u all only if you guys die I wonβt but I love you when ur alive ππ
Me husband: what kind of nonsense was that you love us when weβre alive but you donβt love us when weβre deadπ€₯π₯π
Everyone except abby: abby this is serious mommyβs mother and father died. says Mia: yes your mom is sadly down right now you made her more sadπ‘π€¬.says dad:sniffs* abby I had made a discussion I will take to an orphanage I am sorry π£ when I amd better and happy and I forgot what you said then weβll get you back.says mom:
This was not a joke I just did this for Love π
Science took us to the moon and Religion took us into a skyscraper
Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.) 1. I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted). 2. I gatherd some slapies. 3. The things I gatherd where Tomatos, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried out green beans! all that stuff! To the 4.
4. I need the tomatos to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eye's cry and burn but I will give them a towl after that. The dried out green beens are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that we make it like its not so iky! 5. I feed it to them! They overreacted! Please leave a comment. Byee!
The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.
Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak.
Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.
Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mine?
Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals, the people will go nuts for a great deal!
Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.
Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up!
Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?
Neona: Hmm...lets see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......
How are genders and twin towers alike? There used to be 2 but now it's a sensitive topic.
When I was younger,I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them,by the way,have you see my sister??
Whatβs the only type of Batteries that they use in prisons? Durracell
Why use Heathrow when we have your forehead?..
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in among us
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH"
My wife said why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely
Thank fully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up emily in the bottom of the ocean
When the Driver ran out of fuel what kind of gasoline did he use grassoline
Me: I know how to use a Microwave! Also me: Mom! The Microwave is on fire!
Why don't rappers use the subway?
Because they don't want to miss their next RHYME
