Use jokes
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.
What did the pizzas say to the pizza maker?
CHEESE-US!
Why did the Indian man refuse to use deodorant? Because he wanted to smell like his natural habitat, the shitter.
Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.
Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.
Memes
How do butts communicate?
By using CRACK-BERRIES!
What do people use more than you that is yours?
POV: Get a banana cleaner and use it as a sex toy.
What do stomata use to fill their pools?
Chlor-ine.
I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.
What do ants use when they're stinky?
Deodorant.
What was the thing that Beethoven used the most?
THE OVEN! (BeethOVEN)
Q: Why do women only use their lefts?
A: Because they don't have any rights.
My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.
One rainy day a NASCAR race was going on and they had no other choice but to use this bitch's forehead. https://sportsrecruits.com/athlete/morgan_tomporowski
"Boiled ham" is what you call a dead Russian.
Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.
Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.
Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
Helen Keller can use Hodled's words because they are so bad.