Use jokes
How's your day going?
Shut up, I didn't ask.
Use code tiko#teamfish
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.
I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
I can make a living with the "Treat Yo self" budget.
Yet I can’t use the "Help yo self" budget.
What kind of Panera Bread do pencils use?
Panera Lead.
You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.
Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
What does Biden do? He does you.
What does do something useful unlike you?
I remember you. You used to be an ash.
I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
What? A telephone? Nah, I'm using a telebone.
What is war used for? (put in comments below)
As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.
Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.
Yo mama so [full of] kidney stones Thanos used them for his gauntlet.
On a winter day many play.
Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.