Use jokes
Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.
I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.
Yo hairline was used as the blueprint for the Great Wall of China.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
Please write your comment.
But do not use words like monkey, donkey, loser, etc.
Leo is as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.
Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?
If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
What do depressed people use for emotions online?
They use EMOjis.
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Jesus told the world if he had to pick a body all over again that he would pick himself! He believes he is (God's gift to this earth) the best looking, the smartest, pure perfection!
Hahaha LOL Jajaj.
And I Quote! "THAT'S WHY I PUT MYSELF NAKED ON THE CROSS IN CHURCHES TO SEE MY BODY !!!!"
GROSSEST, SCAREST, UGLIST, SLOPPY, DISRESPECTFUL, DISGUSTING, IT.
If he actually ate the bullshit that came out of his mouth, He wouldn't have made up satan! He wouldn't Rape us, He wouldn't embody us! He wouldn't try to be us! USING OUF VOICES! USING OUR SPIRIT!
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
How do orphans have a family reunion?
They use a Ouija board.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”