Use jokes

Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!

Sans: What am I using?

A trom-bone!

Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: I don't know why.

Man: Because they have a family plan.

Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.

Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.

What flowers do orphans use?...

Self-raising flour.

Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"

Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"

Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*

Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"

Lady: "Let me do that."

Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"

How did the nut study for its test?

It used the inter-nut.

Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?

Mr. Mime!

Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle.

I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."

Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)

Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.

What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?

People actually have a use for one of them.

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

How do you talk to giants? Using big words.

How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.

I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.

Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.

If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Snow.

Snow who?

Snow use, you wouldn't get it.