Use jokes
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.
Why do orphans use Samsung?
Because iPhones have home buttons.
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."
What do lesbians love to use in art class?
Scissors.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?
People actually have a use for one of them.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!
Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!
I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.
Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
What flowers do orphans use?...
Self-raising flour.
Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"
Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"
Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*
Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"
Lady: "Let me do that."
Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"
Sans: What am I using?
A trom-bone!
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"