Use Jokes

I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her a onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hoola hoop

Guess Stephan Hawkins never had use sweatcoin😂

2 boys came home for dinner late and their mother asked, "where have you boys been?" 1 of them replied with, "we were all over the neighborhood, we're mail men now." Their snobby teen sister said, "well your not real mail men, real mail men use real letters." Then 1 of the boys said, "actually we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."

your so dumb that Everytime you use the bathroom you use your shoe to wipe your ass

Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledores army?

Because at one point poisonous gases where put in it

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I dont know if you heard it but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I cant tell if it is metal or techno but it is more vaulable then joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

I used have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting. I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.

Holly shit there's so many yo mama jokes Heres mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the twin towers Yo mama so old that she has jesus's autograph Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her Yo mama so dumb that she thought rocket league was a competition between kids in wheelchairs

Kiwis forehead is so big when he leaves to go to work he has to use a sunroof to drive 😏

Why doesn't the gun and orphan have in common? The gun is actually useful.

I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep

What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?

An eagleastic band!

F**k Zodiac Signs, what colour bed do you mostly use?

yo mamas so fat she used a telephone pole as a tampon.

Today there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there. When he was done, he had realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

PLS WRITE UR COMMENT

BUT DO NOT USE WORDS LIKE MONKEY DONKEY LOSER ETC

What weapon does a fat jedi use?

A heavy saber

There is a man in the hospital the power went out and the man was stabbed to death, there are three witnesses, the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who was at the vending machine, who killed the man? The mom did because you can’t use a vending machine when the powers out!

Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives. condoms 99 percent effective birth controll 99 percent effective ect just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time ( only cost 20 years in jail ;)