Use

Use jokes

Misfortune

    • When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

    When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

    When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

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    • Use memes

    Trash

    • Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

    Shampoo

    • I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" 😂😂😂

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    • Brain

    • What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

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    • Laptop

    • Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?

    Cows go moo.

    Gay

    • Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.

    I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.

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    • Delivery service

    • A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?

    I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.

    Teacher

    • A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3.

    The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".

    The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal. The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

    *Principal:* What is 3+3?

    *Boy:* 6.

    *Principal:* 6+6.

    *Boy:* 12.

    The boy got all the questions right. The principal told the Madam to send the boy to Grade 4 immediately. The Madam decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.

    *Madam:* What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?

    *Boy:* Legs.

    *Madam:* What is in your trousers that I don't have?

    *Boy:* Pockets.

    *Madam:* What starts with a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?

    *Boy:* Coconut.

    *Madam:* What goes in hard & then comes out soft & sticky?

    The principal's eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge

    *Boy:* Bubble gum.

    *Madam:* You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.

    *Boy:* Tent.

    *The principal was looking restless*

    *Madam:* A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.

    *Boy:* Wedding ring.

    *Madam:* I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I Drip. When you blow me, you feel good?

    *Boy:* Nose.

    *Madam:* I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.

    *Boy:* Arrow.

    *Principal:* O MY GOD.

    *Madam:* What starts with 'F' and ends wit a 'K' and if you don't get it, you've to use your hand?

    *Boy:* Fork.

    *Madam:* What is it that all men have, it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?

    *Boy:* Surname.

    *Principal:* Ohooo !

    *Madam:* What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?

    *Boy:* Heart.

    *Principal:* Eeeeeh! The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Madam, "Send this bloody boy to the university. I myself got all the answers wrong!"