Use jokes
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
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Hint: Pictures of woman.
Btw, for men only!
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?
Sally's used to being blind!
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.
Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"
Professor: "Oui oui."
Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?
Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.
I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
Please write your comment.
But do not use words like monkey, donkey, loser, etc.
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
Why don't rappers use the subway?
Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.
Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?
A. By using her equal strength.
What did a gay Indian use as weapons of war?
A rain-bow.
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"