Use jokes
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is dangerous for kids if put on their face, the other one is used to carry groceries.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
Bunger got me like:
😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
Why do orphans use iPhone X's?
Because they can't find home.
What type of flour do orphans use to bake with...? Self-raising flour!
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.