Use jokes

Why don’t Asians use phones?

Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!

I used to have a goldfish which breakdanced on the floor. But only for like twenty seconds.

Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.

Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a diaper.

Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.

Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?

I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.

The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:

"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."

The commander starts answering:

"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"

"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"

"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"

After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:

"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"

"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."

A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.

The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"

Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.

A little riddle...

Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?

...

Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?

The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.

Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.

He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

This is the log reference. Use it to post your logs. Logs can be posted by Info Gatherers or Announcers.

/{[(Log date) -Month- -Year- -Day-] -Log Title- } "-Log Information- " End of Log

Thank you, -Connor

Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.

Who's the Roblox YouTuber that always sees Among Us and says "stupid"?

Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!

You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.