Use

Use jokes

Sandyhook

    • My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.

    Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."

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    • Nun

    • Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."

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    • Cannibal

    • A man gets captured by cannibals.

    Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."

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    • Use memes

    Bark

    • Riddles not jokes.

    What has 4 legs but cannot walk?

    What has bark but no bite?

    There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?

    What has holes but can carry water?

    What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?

    What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?

    What can you catch but not throw?

    And last one:

    What can rule, but not command?

    Tell me the answers in the comments.

    Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/

    One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.

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    • Shampoo

    • Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.

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    • Daughter

    • Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.

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    • Titanic

    • (everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!

    (person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!

    (all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.

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    • Base

    • "Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"

    "Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."

    "I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."

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