Use jokes

Knock knock!!

Who's there??

Dishwasher!!

Dishwasher who??

Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!

Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?

Cows go moo.

I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.

He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.

Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.

Please write your comment.

But do not use words like monkey, donkey, loser, etc.

I used to think that Jewish people were a myth.

But one day I realized, they Israel.

At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "He was a little tardy."

I replied to her, "I thought they all were."

If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?

How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?

She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.

Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.

How do butts communicate?

By using CRACK-BERRIES!

Why are the best used guns from France?

Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.

Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.

Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.

Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:

1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps

"Zre, um, be careful when using a gun, okay? And meh not fat, boy."

Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".

I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.