yo hairline was used as the blue blint for the great wall of china
A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read "Hey im sorry i had to tell you like this but i have been doing your wife for months now" The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying "Sorry meant using your wifi"
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, "for the France!" And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, "long live the queen!" And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said "MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS"
what do you call a letter using the bathroom
the P
Men should provide their disobedient daughters with their own "milk" instead of letting them use the mother. That will teach those bitches some respect for men. It may even help them get laid later on in life.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
Yo mama is so skinny she uses floss as toilet paper
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late.. Guess who's late now..
How do you blindfold an Asian? You use dental floss.
why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.
I told a kid in a wheelchair use your nitro boosts
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door? She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.
Why don’t asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wong number!!!
What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
I used to have a goldfish which breakdanced on a floor But only for like twenty seconds
Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt
Yo Momma so fat she uses a mattress as a diaper.
