Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.
My three favourite things are eating my family and not using commas.
how can you buy emos. just use their bar code
If Hitler was a comedian, He would use laughing gas
we used to be the tallest buildings in new york...
then we took an arab to the knee
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up! Theyβd probably get shellshocked wasnβt it all eggcelent Ok Ok Iβm headed for the egg it. Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
why do jedis stay single?
because they use "divorce " (the force )
MAY DIVORCE BE WITH YOU!
Jesus and Moses come back to earth. Moses says, let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before. So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before. Jesus quips, close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last. So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him, Moses says, hey it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before.
I remember u. U used to be an ash I would live to roast u more, but my mom said to not burn trash
me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls of of a cliff uses water bucket trick ) dies
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child guess he was a stupid blind motherfuckerπthat didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture
I feel wrong. What does this make us? Still cousins
why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. βI never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?β βFrom my father.β said Johnny. βWell, he should be ashamed of himself. And itβs no reason for you to talk like that. You donβt even know what it means.β βI do.β said Johnny. βIt means the car wonβt start.β
This is the log reference. Use it to post your logs. Logs can be posted by Info Gatherers or Announcers.
/{[(Log date) -Month- -Year- -Day-] -Log Title- } "-Log Information- " End of Log
Thank you, -Connor
Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, βTwo plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;β βJohnny!β shouted his mother. βStop swearing!β βBut mom!β Little Johnny protested, βThatβs what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!β
The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. βNo, no,β said the teacher, terrified. βThatβs not what I taught them. Theyβre supposed to say: βTwo plus two, the sum of which is four.ββ
"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us
Itβs been a few weeks, and its clear that you do not have that sense
