Ugliness jokes
My friend: You're ugly.
The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.
Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.
Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.
"Why am I ugly?"
Google would like to operate your camera.
Even the Twin Towers got a better upgrade than your ugly ass.
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
Yo hairline so ugly, when you go to school you fall on a line.
You are so ugly, when the Joker saw you, he stopped laughing.
Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.
Yo mama so ugly when she played Five Nights at Freddy's, they thought that she was already in an animatronic costume.
My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
Your mom is so ugly, she's the reason he swerved.
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
Your mum is so ugly she made Paul Walker run.
Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!