Ugliness jokes
Three friends go to a water park and meet a genie. "You each get one wish." "When you get to the top of the slide, you shall scream your wish as you go down." The first man went down the slide and screamed "Coca Cola," and the pool was filled with Coca-Cola.
The next ugly-ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams "C-M&Ms" as if he wasn’t just about to say cum—then the pool was full of cu—I mean M&Ms. The last horny-ass bitch is so excited he says "Weee!" Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pool wasn’t full of dildos./j
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
Stop it, Superman is stupid, ugly, and nothing.
God help me, please!
Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.
Sister, you're ugly.
Other sister: I'm not your reflection.
PS. Sorry if it is not funny.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
Yo mama so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.
Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.
Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!
Michael Jackson is like if a Barbie doll and Bruno Mars had an ugly child together!
I'm jk btw Michael Jackson was amazing!
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.
Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.
Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.