Ugliness

Ugliness Jokes

Ass

Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.

Music

Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.

Face

Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.

Roast

Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.

Car

A girl called me ugly.

So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.

Race

I am so disappointed in this race.

Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.

Wish

An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."

"What is it?" she asked.

"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.

"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.

"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.

"And your final wish?" the genie asked.

"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."

Mom

Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.

Mama

Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."

Short jokes

Yeah, Asians have squinty eyes, but that's because they have had the displeasure of seeing so many ugly obese Americans in one place.

Blowjob

How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?

If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.

Hairline

Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.

Face

Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.

Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.

Quote

Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...