Two jokes
What did Osama have?
Two Boeings and a dream.
What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?
The Twin Towers.
Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.
First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”
Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”
It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...
I was two tired.
If I had two nickels every time PETA parodied a game, I'd have 14.
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
What do you call two emos spending time together?
Hanging out.
Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
Which one's super super corny?
1. What's blue and not heavy? (🤔) Light blue.
2. What's blue and super hard to see?
Dark blue. (🤔)
Two (DYM 112)
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?
A: Home to see their mama!
What are two things orphans can’t have?
Parents.