Two jokes

What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?

The Twin Towers.

Two lepers meet on the street.

First says "How are you doing?"

Second says "Mustn't crumble!"

My sister lost two things today:

1: Her virginity.

2: Her job at the zoo.

Two (DYM 112)

What are two things orphans can’t have?

Parents.

Which one's super super corny?

1. What's blue and not heavy? (🤔) Light blue.

2. What's blue and super hard to see?

Dark blue. (🤔)

Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?

A: Home to see their mama!

Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.

The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.

Q: What do you get from a two-legged cow? A: Lean beef.

I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."

There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"

I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.

Two towers.

I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...

I was two tired.

Kid: Hey, Dad.

Dad: You're an hour late.

Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.

Dad: By yourself?

Kid: No.

Dad: A boy?

Kid: I was with the teacher.

Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?

A: They fall.

(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)

Why can’t the USA play chess?

Because they lost their two towers.

Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"

Two blonde girls find a beautiful Christmas tree in the woods.

After two hours, someone said, "We found a tree without bark!"

What did the World Trade Center order from Domino's Pizza?

They ordered two large planes.