Turtle jokes
What do you call a stupid turtle?
Retorted.
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
...... fuck the turtles...... THE END
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.
The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)
Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
Why did the turtle cross the road?
We don't know yet.
OOF dislike plz I have no life XD.
All of these jokes are DED sub to pewdipie.
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?
What's a turtle's favorite thrill ride?
Shell shock!
Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?
The turtle, because it can walk.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Community talk
(Reposting cause I wasn’t in my acc)
ALRIGHT homies we’re gonna do a thing! I’ll write a sentence, then everyone else continue the story in the comments. ONE SENTENCE AT A TIME!!!
You’re welcome to do as many as you want, but wait for at least one person to add to it before you do. Anything goes, so you can literally make the next sentence WHATEVER you want (as long as it makes some sense with the story). Have fun!
Here’s how it starts: “Long ago lived a silly turtle, happily living in a pond.
(I expect this to be a fully fledged story by the time I check back)
ALRIGHT homies we’re gonna do a thing! I’ll write a sentence, then everyone else continue the story in the comments. ONE SENTENCE AT A TIME!!!
You’re welcome to do as many as you want, but wait for at least one person to add to it before you do. Anything goes, so you can literally make the next sentence WHATEVER you want (as long as it makes some sense with the story). Have fun!
Here’s how it starts: “Long ago lived a silly turtle, happily living in a pond.”