Roses are red lilacs are purple I have a turtle his name is squirtle
Bro you ever think while driving the moped why they call it footrest when foot never let it rest foot working harder than engine you push push but still go same speed like turtle with bad mood diring rabbit race...
my grandma always said, slow and steady wins the race. she died in a fire.
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
Your so bald, when you wear a turtle neck you look like one!
You're so bald, when you wear a turtle neck, you look like roll on deodrant!
What do lesbiand and turtles have in common? They both eat plastic. (Im sorry to the les out there this is a joke. Not real.)
Who would win in a race? Stephen hawking or a turtle. The turtle cause it can walk.
yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin
why did the turtle start flying he was ona jet
What did the turtle tell the man? To keep being 5G7T4IPK24O[\]TWERGWREWGRGR
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders Turtle soup . The waiter hollers “One Turtle Soup”. A moment later the guy calls the waiter over and says, I’ve changed my mind , I would like Pea Soup The waiter hollers “ Hold The Turtle and Make It Pea “
So there is this button there's a 50% chance you get a million dollars there's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle make them press the button and if they give the money you just push the orphan over take their money and run away because who they going to tell their parents.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs they're screwed.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
I feel bad for cumming on my turtle.
Why the fuck would I do that? I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn on my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me on the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watched and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead of from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with me I wouldn't feel lonely. Well, I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, I took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forget the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forget what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what I did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common They both choke on plastic
A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came he asked what happened, the turtle responded '' I don't know, it all happened so fast''.
