Turn jokes

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."

What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

Turn the comments into a school shootout ;)

"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."

- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*

The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.

Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"

The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"

BOINGZINGA!?!

How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?

Every night he turns into a Golbat.

Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.

🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵

C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

Gotta dive and cry some more.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.

Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?

Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.

Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

Little boys turn them on.

Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."

Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.

Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.