Turn jokes
Yo mama so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
(everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!
(person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!
(all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.
When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵
C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
Turn the comments into a school shootout ;)
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.