Turn jokes
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
Turn the comments into a school shootout ;)
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.
Memes
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵
C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!
I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."