Turn jokes
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵
C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
Memes
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!
I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
Confucius say, man who go through turn table is going to Bangkok.
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.