Turn jokes
A dwarf walks into a bar.
He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
BlessedBrian's face is like a mood ring... it turns blue whenever I'M around.
I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.
Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.
Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
*Windows turning off*
My owl turned 180 today.
He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.
Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.
I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!
Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.
Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?
Yo momma's armpits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.
Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.
If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.
Turn the number 543354 upside down to see "sheesh."
You're so skinny the world turns to the left!