Turn jokes

I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.

Yo momma's armpits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.

Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!

Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.

Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?

Turn the number 543354 upside down to see "sheesh."

You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!

Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?

His internet connection ran out.

Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.

My owl turned 180 today.

He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.

Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.

If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.

You're so skinny the world turns to the left!

In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.

Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.

Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.

I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

An alligator is in a class, turns out he likes teaching!

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.