Try jokes

When you try to close a Google ad because it was covering content, but it was covered by "Ad closed by Google."

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.

Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".

Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.

This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.

I tried to think of how lighting works.

Then it struck me!

Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.

I tried to catch fog, I mist...

So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"

The ice cream man tried to murder me today.

Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem. 🎤😎

I tried to catch fog, but I mist.

What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?

Trying to fit in.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.

I tried to catch air once... I mist.

I tried to catch air once... I mist.

There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.

When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."

The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."

"Shut up."

"No, I need to know your name."

"Shut up."

"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"

"Round the corner picking up shit."

I tried to take a picture of some fog. I mist.

Have you ever tried North Korean food?

Neither have the North Koreans.

Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?

Have you ever tried to clean one?

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.