Try jokes
So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That's the best I've done so far.
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
Would you like to try African food?
They would too.
When you try to close a Google ad because it was covering content, but it was covered by "Ad closed by Google."
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.
I tried to catch fog, I mist...
So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"
The ice cream man tried to murder me today.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem. 🎤😎