Try jokes
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to download a free version of Windows.
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
Stephen Hawking tried to crack Abutu.
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.
Why haven't they just tried turning Stephen Hawking on and off?
Stephen Hawking trying to climb the stairway to heaven.
Have they tried switching him off and on again?
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
Stephen Hawking just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?
I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar.
An hour or so goes by, then the new flame says, "I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice, food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there?"
His friend says "OK, watch this." He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool, pulls down his zipper, and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin, cleaned himself, pulled up his zipper, then jumped back to his chair.
He walked back to his new gay friend and said, "What do you think of that?"
"MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that!" His squeeze said, "Wanna give it a try?"
"I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey."