Try jokes
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.
As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.
As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.
Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to get the free cracked version of Windows 10.
Stephen Hawking tried to install a free version of Windows 10.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to download a free version of Windows.
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
Stephen Hawking tried to crack Abutu.
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.
Why haven't they just tried turning Stephen Hawking on and off?
Stephen Hawking trying to climb the stairway to heaven.
Have they tried switching him off and on again?
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
Stephen Hawking just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?
I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"