Try

Try jokes

Race

    • Did you hear about the tomato and the lettuce race?

    Well, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!

  • 1
    • Ad

    Autism

    • Come on guys, it's not nice to make fun of autism. I mean really, the Riot devs try their best, but just because they have autism does not mean you can make fun of them. Make fun of them for something else, like their Down syndrome.

    Daughter

    • Yesterday, my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson, I said, "Just for that, you don't get any butter for a month."

    Today in the kitchen, she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try!"

  • 1

    • Rape

    • I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.

  • 37
    • Ad

    News

    • Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"

  • 5

    • Funeral

    • Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?

    While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.

  • 3
    • Ad

    Clock

    • What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?

    WATCH OUT!!!

  • 0

    • Superman

    • A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.

    The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."

  • 4
    • Ad

    Lesbian

    • Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?

    Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?

  • 1
    • Ad

    Pedo

    • 101 pedo jokes.

    Why's everything x2, need to get this shit dick off before the coppers come, it's called women taking advantage, you'll shit the bitcoin, 90% percent of pedo's who don't admit they're like kids blame the police, shit your kappas, you only want my veins why don't you inject me with smack, run in with ya black armbands, I've been sized for a million pound, stop giving me strain asking questions, I know what's going to happen next, bet the judge is a women, jealous coz your drink tastes like shit?

    Is it coz your shit though? How many bids have you done? Shit 1 million views, don't try bribe me, did the police give me snip? How's my barbie doll or shall I say my little pony? The police beat fuck outta me, what's all these needle marks on my arm, I can tell you want something, why's everything like one big cycle, police own the dark web.

    Keep it going on lol.

  • 3
    • Ad

    Trump

    • Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.

    As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.

    As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.

    Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"

  • 5
    • Ad