Branch

Branch Jokes

Tree

Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!

Depression

what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)

Emo

What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?

The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.

Family Tree

Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?

A: Fall.

If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.

Tree

How does a tree access the internet?

By logging in and branching out!

Emo

What's the similarity between an emotional and a leaf?

The emo is still hanging.

Tree

Did the tree high five the emos?

No, he just left them hanging.

Story

"Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.

"Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."

"Where is Timmy now?" I asked.

Grandma pointed to the campfire.

Wood

What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.

Plant

I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.

Money

A man entered the bank branch and asked the teller to withdraw his account balance. The teller debited his account and gave the man all his money. Then the man counted the money and asked the teller to deposit it back into his account.

The teller asked the man why he withdrew the money and deposited it back. Then the man replied, "I wanted to make sure all my money is safe and tallies with my records."

Lol

Tree

What did the tree do when the bank closed?

It started its own branch.

Bird

A bird was on a branch at school today. I turn away to talk to my friends, and another bird was there when I turned around. I turn around again, and the birds are having fucking sex!!!

What the fuck.

Now I've seen everything.

Koala

Why did the koala climb the tree?

To get to the other branch. :)

He made it, don't worry!

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