Travel Jokes

Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York

An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ̈You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you? ̈ The Cuban simply says, ̈See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap. ̈ The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ̈Oh, OK. ̈

The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ̈You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you? ̈ The Russian simply states, ̈See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap. ̈ Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ̈Ah, yes! Of course. ̈

The American scratches his head and goes, ̈I think I see the pattern here. ̈ So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window! ̈

Give a man a plane ticket, he’ll fly for a day. Push a man out of a plane flying 10,000 miles up, he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”

Everybody was kung flu dying It travelled as fast as lightning 2020 was expert timing In fact it was a little bit frightening

Where do math teachers go on vacation times Square

A Photon Is Checking Into a Hotel The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?" The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."

when you are going back to where you live from a place that is a time zone behind where you live: "looks like I am going back to the future!"

I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza. Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.

...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.

Me: dozes off while driving. everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11

A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guys says "Well I've always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says "Well I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"

A man is meeting a client in Japan, yet arrives a day early. When night hit he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, yet the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says "What do you mean wrong hole!?"

I was just chillin in the world trade center and got airplane wifi

guess how i got away from my mom saying i can't play fortnite, i took my stuff and I ran to Iran

Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”

Are you Paris, 'Cause Eiffel for you

Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?

No because they already are on one

I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa .☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted. The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered Pristiano Penaldo 😭.I was right guys ✅🛫