Travel jokes

If you enter the bathroom as an American and leave the bathroom as an American, what are you in the bathroom?

A European.

Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?

When he is on the train.

Long time since I made a joke, huh? I used a Time Machine to make this one.

I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.

An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”

The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”

Why do birds fly south?

Because it's too far to walk.

What is a Karen called in Europe?

An American.

You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.

Daughter: Where was I born?

Dad: Alabama.

Daughter: That is nice.

Mum: We have never been to Alabama.

Dad: RUN!

*Titanic was sinking.*

Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?

Captain: Two miles.

Passenger: Which way are we going?

Captain: Down.

Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!

I took a plane to go see my hairline.

What is it called when an orphan goes on vacation?

Answer: He's making family memories.

- What do you call a bee who flew to United States? - "USB"

My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.

Why was the train late?

It kept getting sidetracked.

Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?

A: To find his dad.

This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣