My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.
We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.
Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.
Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut.
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
The UK is a joke. I want to leave ASAP.
Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!
Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't get even.
What is it called when an orphan goes on vacation?
Answer: He's making family memories.
Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.
Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.
The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.
The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
I drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!
Why did the rapper go to space?
To drop some COSMIC RHYMES!
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.
The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"
Why can’t you run in a campground?
Because it’s past tents.
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."
Bus went vrrrrrrrm.
