Travel jokes
Where do cows go on a holiday? Moo-Zealand! 😜
What type of pizza do they serve on an airplane?
Plane pizza.
One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!!
Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!
So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."
I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'
I don't need this shit!
Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.
My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.
The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.
We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.
P.l.a.n.e.
Penis loving Asian now entering.
Why did the rapper go to space?
To drop some COSMIC RHYMES!
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
Bus went vrrrrrrrm.
I hate airplanes!
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."
Why can’t you run in a campground?
Because it’s past tents.
Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.
The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"
What do you call a flying bus?
An Airbus.
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?
How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut.