Travel jokes
My wife told me, "Don't buy 1 gun while on your trip," so I decided to buy 2 guns instead.
Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris?
Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.
Son: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Quarantine.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
Confucius say, man who go through turn table is going to Bangkok.
Teacher: We are going to Seville.
Girls: Omg, it's such a beautiful city. I can't wait to explore!
Boys: Ohh oh oh ohhh.
Omg thanks for 1000 likes!
Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Answer: Because there was a... crack in it!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack! 🤣😂🤣
I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
How do you get 1 million followers?
You run through Africa with a bottle of water.
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
What's up with airline food?
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.
You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."
When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
What do you call a Flying Pilot? Because he can go pee on the plane!