Travel jokes

What do you call a flying bus?

An Airbus.

What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?

I hate airplanes!

Two Timetravers walk into a bar...

...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."

How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.

Why did the rapper go to space?

To drop some COSMIC RHYMES!

"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

I traveled through time to get my dad back.

I failed because I was 1e21 years off.

Anyone go to Success Jonesboro, AR?

Why do orphans hate plane rides?

Because there’s no home to come back to.

I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.

Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.

Jonny went to Disney and they had sour balls. He asked the cashier for some and he pulled down his pants.

Why did the man get on the bus to get sussy?

The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.

Why did the Italian cross the road?

C'era un uliveto.

I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"

The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.

My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!

What's the worst time to fly a plane?

"What's the wifi password?"

"121i362"

"It's not working."

"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"

"The United Airline."

"We're in the World Trade Center, though."