Travel jokes

I hate airplanes!

Why did the rapper go to space?

To drop some COSMIC RHYMES!

I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.

How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.

Bus went vrrrrrrrm.

What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?

A blonde crashes an airplane.

Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?

Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.

Officer: *face palms self*

Also officer: Here's your sign.

What do you call a flying bus?

An Airbus.

I drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!

"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.

When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."

His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"

Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"

10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"

787 bowing.

I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.

Leaving for Disneyland! See you guys on Tuesday!

Why do orphans hate plane rides?

Because there’s no home to come back to.

Why did the man get on the bus to get sussy?

Anyone go to Success Jonesboro, AR?

I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.

Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.

Jonny went to Disney and they had sour balls. He asked the cashier for some and he pulled down his pants.

What's the worst time to fly a plane?