Transportation jokes
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Why did the chicken cross the road? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIIIIDE!!!
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
Why did the car drive over the cake?
'Cause it was in tiers!! Lol, sorry this ain't funny.
What is the difference between a tree and when I walk home at night?
Woman can't drive.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.
Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?
Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.
It's not funny, I know.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
I would have loved to ride the Titanic at least once ;)
iykyk
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.
What is a difference between a tree and a car? A car 🚙 can drive and [a] tree 🌲 can not drive.
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
Open wide, here comes the airplane!
The poop on the bus goes poopoopoopoo AHHHH! All day long.