Transportation jokes
Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
Why did the rooster go to the train station to get the pizza?
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
You know what I told my little brother plane?
When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"
What do you call a batter in a hot air balloon?
Where can't orphans park?
Parent child.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Nuts!
What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
When you got on an airplane, the flight attendant asked which hairline you were flying with.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.
Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.
Where is the building I was in, and why is there a plane?