Transportation jokes

Why does Zac say he works at McDonald's? Because Aaron go errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”

I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.

Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.

What do you call a train that carries bubblegum?

Chew-chew train! Hee hee!

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!

Please follow me at Mary.cristal03 on TikTok.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Really, there is an answer, and he never made it across, so...

Why did the baby cross the road?

It was stapled to the chicken.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To become roadkill.

How do you get 50 babies into a car?

You blend them.

What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?

Hard shoulder.

When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.

Why are supercars so super? Because it is superfast, lol.

One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.

What did the plane say to the Twin Towers?

Nothing, planes can't talk.

Yo momma so dumb, she got kicked off the short bus.

A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"

"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."

"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"

20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.

How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)

3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)

Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.

A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.

The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."

Three drunk guys entered a taxi.

The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination." The first guy gave him money, and the second guy said, "Thank you." The third guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked, thinking the third drunk knew what he did. But then he asked, "What was that for?" The third guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"