Transportation jokes
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!
What is a magic car? One that flies!
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? Cause there were only 4 trucks.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?
- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean.
What is the bus?
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of orphans.
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
What did the helicopter say?
Helicopter: "Kobe!"
Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
What begins with F and ends with CK?
Fuck, I mean fire truck.
Teacher: Why were you late?
Me: Traffic.
Teacher: Did I did it?
Me: Did I even blame it on you?
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen! Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and angrily sits down. She says to a man next to her “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”