Transportation Jokes

A Ford?

What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver?

One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.

When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"

You know what I told my little brother plane?

Where is the building I was in, and why is there a plane?

No Words

A comic strip featuring characters from the game Hollow Knight. In the first panel, a character says, "Okay, we are just about ass to ankles back here, Hornet. Do you wanna hop on your sibling's lap there, please?" The second panel shows other characters, one of whom says, "Whoa, bumpy road ahead!"

Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?

A: They couldn’t go straight.

Yo mama so fat, she can't go up the elevator; she can only go down.

Trump got a new jet.

He's probably already licked the windows.

A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"

"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."

"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"

20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.

How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)

3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)

Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.

A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.

The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."

Three drunk guys entered a taxi.

The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination." The first guy gave him money, and the second guy said, "Thank you." The third guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked, thinking the third drunk knew what he did. But then he asked, "What was that for?" The third guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"

What is better for bus drivers? A. Magic school bus 🚌

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.

If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.

Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.

One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.