Transportation jokes
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
What is an orphan's favorite car?
A family car.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Memes
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
Why couldn’t the orange cross the road? Because it ran out of juice.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiled at traffic, all the cars slowed down.
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
Q: What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A: A bus full of children.
Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?
'Cause it was two tired!
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.