Transportation jokes

Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”

What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?

Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.

Why are camels known as ships of the desert?

Because they’re full of Arab semen.

How many times does 50 fit into 9?

Get in a van and find out!

What do you call a nun on a bike?

Virgin Mobile.

If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)

What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!

What is an orphan's favorite car?

A family car.

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the elevator, it went down.

What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?

Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...

You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"

Why did the frog take the bus to work today?

His car got toad away.

Which train is loaded with bubble gum?

A chew-chew train.

How do rabbits travel?

By hareplane.

I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.

What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?

Kermit in a car crash.

Were you born on the highway? 'Cause that's where most accidents happen.

What did the frog do when his car broke down?

It was toad.

I took a plane to go see my hairline.