Transportation jokes
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiled at traffic, all the cars slowed down.
Which train is loaded with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
Why couldn’t the orange cross the road? Because it ran out of juice.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Most orphans were born on the highway. It’s where most accidents [happen].
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.