Transportation jokes
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels!
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜?
"Where do you live?"
My hellokitty lovers <3333 (Darling)
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
When is a car not a car?
When it's a house.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
How to get 60 Translink workers? Please head out of the pool because ya'll are fat. Oh wait, didn't you poop yourself? Say sorry to your underwear while pooping as a fat Canadian Translink worker, little boy.
Yeeeeeeeet!
A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"
"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."
"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.
EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
What has 4 wheels and can fly? A garbage truck.
If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.
I know a Chinese joy rider, Tommy Tookamotor.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."