Transportation jokes
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To get to the rear end.
What begins with F and ends with CK?
Fuck, I mean fire truck.
What did the traffic light say to the other?
"Hey, stop looking at me! I'm changing!"
No Words
Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.
When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
Why couldn’t the orange cross the road? Because it ran out of juice.
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
A. Because he got hit by a truck.
What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.