Transportation jokes

I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.

What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why?

To get to the gay kid's house.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

What did a car say hi to?

It said hi to the school.

Q: Why did the baby cross the road?

A: It wasn't in its car seat.

What's a car's favorite place to hang out?

A CARnival!

Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?

Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.

Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?

What do you call a cow in a moving van?

A: A mooving cow.

My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Heehheehehehehehehe

To get to the other side. Ahaahahahahahahahahahahaa!

Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?

Doctor: The morgue.

Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!

Doctor: And we're not there yet!

My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(

Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.

Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

Q: Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?

A: Because he got hit by a bus.

Mom: Please eat, baby!

Baby: No!

Mom: Here comes the airplane!

There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?

Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.