Transportation jokes
What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.
But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
You can get the park in the park with you if I have park in your car, and I will be there in a couple of hours. Would you be able to pick them out at your house, and I will pick you up, and I will be at your place at your convenience. I can get them in a little while. I’m at the park. Bye.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got ran over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
What did the bus driver say to the car?
"What is your address?"
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
I heard an Uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like $40.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had diarrhea.
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
What is something that smells yuck? 🤮
Old bus seats.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
What do you call a plane with no wings?
Sally.