Transportation jokes
What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a BMW in my garage.
I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"
She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"
I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"
What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.
Three drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination." The first guy gave him money, and the second guy said, "Thank you." The third guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked, thinking the third drunk knew what he did. But then he asked, "What was that for?" The third guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
Your bus is so short... the wheels touch.
Today was a bad day. First, my ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why couldn't the toilet cross the road?
Answer: 'Cause it got stuck in the crack.
Yo mama so fat, she sat next to everyone on the plane.
Why did the bike fall over?
It was too tired.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
Give Kobe a plane ticket, he'll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.
Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!
Why couldn’t the bike stand up? Cuz it was too tired.
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
What is better for bus drivers? A. Magic school bus 🚌
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!