Transportation jokes
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
Why did Billy drop his ice cream?
'Cause he got hit by a bus.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
Memes
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Car-los
What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?
Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
What did the mountain say to the helicopter? Kobee.
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?