Transportation jokes

What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?

Only one gets fuel.

What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?

Car-los

Once there was a boat. Its friends said,

"It's time to come back." And the boat said,

"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."

What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?

Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.

My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?

How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?

It depends on your speed.

How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

He got ran over by a bus.

What is yellow and can’t swim?

A school bus full of children.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.

Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.

Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.

What did the mountain say to the helicopter? Kobee.

A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

You live in the airport.

How does a train sneeze?

It goes, "A-choo choo!"

What happens when a frog's car breaks down?

It gets toad away!

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.