Transportation jokes

A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

Why were the rappers late for their flight?

They forgot to pack.

Why did the frog take the bus to work?

His car got toad.

Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? Cause there were only 4 trucks.

Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?

A. He marks the camels that kick.

Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?

'Cause they only had 4 trucks.

Your hair line is curved like a moving train.

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

How does a train sneeze?

It goes, "A-choo choo!"

Why did the plane go to KFC?

To lose its wings and crash!

Time flies by, doesn’t it?

But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.

What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?

A dead cripple.

What plate goes to Bikini Bottom?

Malaysia Flight 370.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.