Transportation jokes

Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? Cause there were only 4 trucks.

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?

A. He marks the camels that kick.

Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?

'Cause they only had 4 trucks.

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.

What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?

A dead cripple.

Why were the rappers late for their flight?

They forgot to pack.

I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.

Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?

Why?

So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.

I yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo, yo-yo yo-yo you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ha! Frick, fuck, gosh dang, you’re so big that you can’t ride. This is Builder.

What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.

Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.

You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"

I was sitting in traffic the other day.

Probably why I got run over.

How did Helen Keller drive?

One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.

Why did the plane go to KFC?

To lose its wings and crash!

Time flies by, doesn’t it?

But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.

What is it called when you have four white people in the car?

Clear windows.