Transportation jokes
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Why did the plane go to KFC?
To lose its wings and crash!
Memes
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? Cause there were only 4 trucks.
If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.
McDonald's has a drive through.
Twin Towers has a fly through.
When your plane heads for New York...
I don't have a carbon footprint. I drive everywhere.
For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.
What did the plane say to the towers: "Can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no, we got to go through it."
Why did the flamingo cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
Why did the chicken cross the road?...
To get to the other side.
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
What do you call a Mexican who lost their car?
Carlos.