Transportation jokes
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
They forgot to pack.
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? Cause there were only 4 trucks.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
Your hair line is curved like a moving train.
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
Why did the plane go to KFC?
To lose its wings and crash!
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.