Transportation jokes

A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.

I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.

Not screaming like her passengers.

What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Why were the rappers late for their flight?

They forgot to pack.

Why did the frog take the bus to work?

His car got toad.

How do flat-earthers travel?

On a plane.

I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.

What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?

A dead cripple.

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

How does a train sneeze?

It goes, "A-choo choo!"

What is it called when you have four white people in the car?

Clear windows.

Your hair line is curved like a moving train.

How did Helen Keller drive?

One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.

You live in the airport.

What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.

Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.