Transportation jokes
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.
Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?
What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.
Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The helicopter blade!
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.
What do you call a train that carries bubblegum?
Chew-chew train! Hee hee!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To become roadkill.
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
Why didn't Sally get home from work?
She got hit by a bus.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.
Why did the frog cross the road to hop to his side, Bih?