What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus? On the school bus the pricks are on the inside but on a cactus the pricks are on the outside
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What do you call a rapper who's also a PILOT?
Fly Guy
Why did the rapper take the bus to the studio?
Because their car ran out of RHYME.
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.
I know it's bad, sorry.
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
787 bowing.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
Why did that fish cross the road?
Just for the halibut (hell of it)!
A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.
If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
You are in the airway, how funny!
