Transportation jokes
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.
It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
Give Kobe a plane ticket, he'll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!
One day, a cop pulls a van over, and when he walks up to the window, he sees ten penguins in the back.
The cop asks the man, “Are those your penguins?”
The man says, “Yes, they are my pets.”
The cop replies to the man, “You need to take them to the zoo right now.”
So the man agrees and drives off. The next day, the cop pulls over the same van, and he walks up to the window and sees the ten penguins all wearing sunglasses.
The cop says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”
The man says, “I did! Today, we are going to the beach!”
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
Q: What do you call a chip that goes fast?
A: A rocket chip.
What do you call a flying bus?
An Airbus.
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
What do you call a nun on a bike?
Virgin Mobile.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
Woman can't drive.
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!