Transportation jokes
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?
Michelin.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!
What is green and looks like a school bus?
A school bus.
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a car in my garage.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
Why didn't Sally get home from work?
She got hit by a bus.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
What is the bus?
Why did the otter cross the road? To get to the otter side.
Why did the chicken ride across town? Because he was being taken to Tyson.
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.