Transportation jokes
What's green and has wheels?
Grass, I was just lying about the wheels.
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.
What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver's egg sandwich.
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.
How do bees go to school?
They go on a school buzz.
Pinto?
Hello, I'm hahaha. What do you call a funny rubber toe?
Roberto!!~!~!!! AaaaAQAAAHAHAHAA. And like hahaha, what's wrong with airline food? They're not black and they're not people.
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
Which month is the bus? December.
When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.
I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.
Why couldn’t the orange cross the road? Because it ran out of juice.
"Today was the worst day ever." "Why?" Because my ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos