Transportation jokes

I was sitting in traffic the other day.

Probably why I got run over.

How did Helen Keller drive?

One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.

Why did the plane go to KFC?

To lose its wings and crash!

Time flies by, doesn’t it?

But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.

What is it called when you have four white people in the car?

Clear windows.

Your hair line is curved like a moving train.

Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.

What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?

Motor disease.

Why did the kid cross the road?

He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

What takes 10 parking spaces? Five women.

Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?

Exactly, cuz she's a woman.

I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.

Not screaming like her passengers.

What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.

How do flat-earthers travel?

On a plane.

I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.

I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.

What plate goes to Bikini Bottom?

Malaysia Flight 370.

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Why did the frog take the bus to work?

His car got toad.