Transportation jokes
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.
"September 11th plane driving classes for free."
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
East Richmond had a train station, but Richmond is better, why?
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White vans.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
How do bees get to school?
They go on a school buzz.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
I don't have a carbon footprint. I drive everywhere.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂