Transportation jokes
Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
What is the difference between a human and a magic car?
A magic car can fly, and a human cannot fly.
Why did the 767 fly into the towers?
Because a310 dared it to.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"
What has 10 wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Car-los
Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.
A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
What's yellow and can't swim? A school bus full of orphans.
What do you call a banana driving a car?
A banana car.