Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?
Exactly, cuz she's a woman.
Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
You can get the park in the park with you if I have park in your car, and I will be there in a couple of hours. Would you be able to pick them out at your house, and I will pick you up, and I will be at your place at your convenience. I can get them in a little while. I’m at the park. Bye.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.
A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.
What is the difference between a tree 🌲 and a car 🚘? A car can drive and a tree 🌳 can not drive
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
What do you call a cab for black men A Cop car
What is Jack Frost's favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.
The bus was white.
People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.
In a white van.
Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.
Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"
So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"
The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"
